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  • Writer's pictureKanilina Clerge, LMFT

Should I Stay or Go? Deciding After Your Partner Cheats

Infidelity is a deeply painful and challenging experience that can rock the very foundation of a relationship. When your partner cheats, you are faced with a dilemma: should you stay and work through the issues or leave the relationship altogether? While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, this blog post aims to help you navigate the complex emotions and considerations involved in making this difficult decision.

Understanding the Emotional Turmoil

Discovering that your partner has cheated can trigger a rollercoaster of emotions, including anger, betrayal, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. It's crucial to allow yourself to process these emotions before making any hasty decisions. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the initial shock.

Evaluate the Relationship

Before deciding whether to stay or go, take a step back and assess the overall health of your relationship. Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Was this an isolated incident? Consider whether the cheating was a one-time mistake or part of a pattern of behavior. A one-time mistake may be easier to forgive and move past.

  2. Do both of you want to work it out? It takes two willing parties to repair a relationship after infidelity. If your partner is genuinely remorseful and committed to rebuilding trust, it could be a sign that the relationship is worth salvaging.

  3. Is the relationship worth saving? Reflect on the quality of your relationship before the cheating incident. Were there other issues, such as communication problems or unresolved conflicts, that may have contributed to the infidelity?

  4. Can you forgive and rebuild trust? Forgiveness is a personal journey, and it may take time. Consider whether you can eventually forgive your partner and rebuild trust in the relationship.

  5. Are there children involved? If you have children together, their well-being should also be a significant factor in your decision-making process.

Seek Professional Help

Infidelity is a complex issue, and seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. A trained professional can help both partners communicate more effectively, address underlying issues, and work through the emotional fallout of cheating.

Set Boundaries and Expectations

If you decide to stay in the relationship, it's essential to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward. This may include open and honest communication, transparency about actions and whereabouts, and a commitment to rebuilding trust.

Consider the Long-Term Consequences

Think about the long-term consequences of your decision. Staying in a relationship after infidelity can be incredibly challenging, but it can also lead to growth, healing, and a stronger bond if both partners are committed to the process. On the other hand, leaving the relationship may offer a fresh start but also comes with its own set of challenges.


Deciding whether to stay or go after your partner cheats is a deeply personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer, and each situation is unique. It's essential to take the time to evaluate your feelings, the state of the relationship, and the potential for healing and growth. Seek support, whether from loved ones or professionals, to help you make the decision that is right for you and your well-being. Ultimately, your happiness and emotional health should be at the forefront of your decision-making process.

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